Intimacy Therapy

Does Your Relationship Feel Increasingly Distant And Strained?


Are you and your partner struggling with a lack of intimacy, pleasure and connection? Do you feel unheard and uncared for and wonder how you have grown so far apart? Perhaps you can’t remember when you last spent time together without stress or distractions, let alone the last time you had mutually fulfilling sex. You may feel as though your partner no longer understands that you are a complete person who wants to feel loved and supported. Do you fear what might happen to your relationship if you don’t make a change now? Do you wish you and your partner could enjoy renewed physical intimacy and, even more importantly, emotional connection?

Feeling distant in a relationship can be a deeply painful, lonely experience. Between rushing to work, taking care of the kids and balancing the other demands of life in Silicon Valley, it may seem as though you and your partner have become more like coworkers or roommates than romantic partners. You or your partner may constantly feel overwhelmed, frenzied, stressed and depleted, which only makes it harder to reach toward each other for support and affection. Or, perhaps one of you has had an affair, and now you wonder if recovery from infidelity and restoring closeness is even possible. Regardless of your particular situation, you may know that something needs to change.

Many Couples Struggle With Intimacy Issues

Over time, many couples steadily grow apart, often without realizing it until there’s a moment of crisis. Here in Silicon Valley, it’s not uncommon for at least one partner to work up to 100 hours per week. Add to that the stress of trying to have kids, going through pregnancy, raising children, managing physical health and taking care of the household, and it’s no wonder that so many couples find little time for each other.

As individuals, we all change and grow over time, and our relationships must change and grow with us. But, when time is stretched thin, few of us check in with ourselves to see how we might be changing or notice how those changes might be affecting our partners. It’s also easy to forget to stay curious about our partners’ inner lives, and to make the effort to understand their evolving wants and needs. And so, the gulf between partners widens.

Individuals also approach intimacy differently. While one partner might need physical affection and sex to create emotional intimacy, the other might need emotional intimacy to create the desire for touch. Many couples find themselves in a cycle that keeps both partners feeling rejected, lonely and misunderstood, with neither getting what they want or need.

Thankfully, it is possible to break this cycle. An experienced sex therapist can help you and your partner find ways to rekindle your relationship, get your needs met and foster a deep, lasting connection with your partner.

Intimacy Therapy Can Help You Restore Emotional And Physical Intimacy


With the guidance of a skilled, understanding sex and relationship therapist, you and your partner can learn to recognize and understand each other’s needs and wants. You can find new ways to connect emotionally and get on the same page about any issues currently causing distance and strain. Then, you can develop practical, effective strategies to actively improve your relationship in the here and now.

During relationship and sex counseling sessions, your therapist will help you understand where your relationship stands today and set actionable goals for the immediate future. You and your partner can practice new ways of relating to one another in the safe, supportive space of the therapy office. As you both learn tools and techniques to cultivate a real connection, you can practice tuning in with your partner and using mindfulness to sustain that connection. In other words, you can begin to better understand how your partner reacts to you and why. Then, you can increase awareness around your actions and shift your behaviors to create greater harmony in your relationship. You can replace conflict and strain with compassion and closeness.

Even though the therapists at Crossroads Relationship Center are goals-oriented and dedicated to finding effective solutions, you and your partner can move at your own pace, building intimacy slowly and carefully. No one needs to feel pressured into anything. Especially if there’s been a betrayal of trust in your relationship, your therapist will help you rekindle physical connection slowly, starting with small, gentle gestures of affection. As you nurture emotional intimacy, you can create room for both of you to discuss your wants and needs without fear of judgment or rejection. Most importantly, you can create valuable time to be present with one another.

No matter how distant you and your partner may feel right now, know that there is hope and help available. Like so many other couples, you simply need to tune into each other’s desires and reset your relationship. It is possible to improve your sex life and rediscover the love that once drew you together. It is possible to create a deep, resilient bond.

You may have concerns about relationship counseling…

Intimacy therapy is too expensive.

While counseling does take a financial investment, it’s important to consider the high monetary and emotional costs of separation and divorce. By seeking help now, you and your partner can avoid the pain and stress that comes with ending a long-term relationship.

Furthermore, you and your partner will not be in therapy forever. Our goal is to help you find solutions that work in the short- and long-term. Your therapist will help you set goals and develop strategies to begin increasing intimacy in your very first session.


I don’t really want to talk to a stranger about my sex life.

Crossroads Relationship Center is a relaxed, low-key environment, and our approach is based completely on what our clients want. We are warm, engaging therapists who understand how hard it can be to talk about sex and intimacy. We won’t judge you for anything you share in sessions, and you don’t have to worry that you’ll be pressured to try something you don’t feel comfortable with. This is a safe space for you to find solutions that work for you, your partner and your relationship.

I want to come to therapy, but my partner doesn’t.

If your partner feels hesitant about therapy, we encourage you to come in alone. It is completely possible to transform your entire relationship by making small changes on your own. Once you shift the way you approach and respond to your partner, he or she will necessarily shift in response. And, as your relationship evolves over time, your partner might decided that he or she does want to join you for sessions. Regardless, you don’t have to wait to start working toward the relationship you want.

Renew Your Connection

You don’t have to feel lonely in your relationship. We invite you to call us today at 408-228-3512. You can ask any questions you may have about intimacy therapy in Los Gatos, CA.